Wednesday, December 30, 2009


When I last checked I was at 134! Yay!!! Although, this was about 4 days ago. I've been out of town though visiting with family and unfortunately I do not have a scale with me. DAMN! I could very well be at 136 again, or even 138, but I'm glad that I was able to lose at the very least 1 pound after busting my ass! I'm so relieved.

The more I think on it, the more feasible it is that I could very well have gone up again with the way my aunt has been trying to stuff me with all sorts of crap. I've shown remarkable restraint though. Today I managed to dodge a bunch of fried snacks. Breakfast consisted of 2 scrambled eggs and toast...purge...Lunch was a fruit salad and a soda (I poured the soda down the drain after opting out of the potatoes and yam - citing that I had eaten eggs and bread for breakfast), and dinner was a very large tuna salad (minus the tuna - I'm really hating on the corn right now).

I'm here for another 5 days or so and I'm already upset because it looks like the rest of my stay will consist of me restricting and purging just to maintain the weight I'm at (if I'm even lucky to still be at that weight).

I keep telling myself that I can't give up...I did an hour of cardio for 5 days straight last week. Yes, I am a bit determined. Stubborn, even. I keep telling myself that "I WILL reach my goal weight," regardless of how long it takes me. Unfortunately, I can't really go at the exercise while I'm here. It's okay, just a minor setback. I may not lose anything. In fact, I'll probably gain, but I'll get to it when I get back to my place. I'm trying to remind myself that I can't think too hard on the number but on the general direction that the scale is going (let's see how long that lasts). Besides, I don't have a scale with me, so that's kind of pointless to do anyway. I hope everyone's holidays are not as excruciating as they otherwise could be.

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