Thursday, November 19, 2009
That was a close one. I love the dizzy feeling but I forgot how much I hate headaches. Too painful and too distracting...especially when I have so much work to do. I told myself that a small bite of something would help with the headache and so I allowed myself to have half a packet of plain oatmeal for breakfast today followed by one Wheat Thin. You can already guess at what happened. I kept going...I wound up eating
1 Pringles chip
1 fruit strip
3 more wheat thins
2 portions of laughing cow cheese round
and quite a few spoons of cheese in herbs and olive oil - Heavenly and evil all at once. Only God knows exactly how many Calories are in that thing. Yikes!
I was near polishing off the pita when I realized that the headache was fading and I realized what I was doing...giving in. I got on the scale. It hadn't moved. (Which I guess is good). I drank a glass of water waited about 2 minutes and calmly walked to the bathroom. I got most of it out but felt bad while doing so because I told myself that I wouldn't go that route. It hurt, not physically but emotionally. I wanted to have GREAT control without doing so. I did such a good job avoiding before. What's even worse is that while I feel bad for it, I felt great for having gotten most of it out. Even if I absorbed some Calories before doing so...they were fewer than they otherwise would have been. What's more is that I have that delicious empty feeling. I got on the scale and it moved oh so slightly clockwise. Affirmation. Goodness, I'm not well.
I'm moving back to water and water and tea and water for the rest of the day. After a session like that I don't want to eat anything else for a while. Mostly to avoid having to do it again. Wish me luck, I'm hoping you're all stronger than me and doesn't give in as easily.